Cookouts, kitchens, cars and crows.

CROW: not to be performed drunk

The Players (all are my amazing friends):

Drinky – a fun, witty man. Married to Red. New father of baby girl.
Red – amazing woman, keeps Drinky in check. Just had baby.
Wino – knows how to make you feel important. Way fun. Husband of Capitall. Has a wine import business.
Capitall – Love her! Creative, fun and complete physical opposite of me. (Capitall’s name comes from her husband who says together she and I look like Capital I and Little i)
Odd Duck – Business partner of Wino. Wacky guy. Bizarre but great sense of humor.

*In usual fashion, I will shoot my wad early and get to the good stuff.*

With a last minute decision in my back pocket and just enough money to cover the important things (gas and adult beverages, though some claim they’re the same thing), I took off for Ohio. Dad said my bedroom was ready; all I had to do was get there.
My trek began on Saturday and the plan was to stay until Monday or Tuesday. The drive was easy and gorgeous. On the way, I received a voicemail from Drinky and Red. They wanted me to come straight to their place for dinner, drinks and to see the product of their last drunken encounter: their new baby.
We had a great evening and Red is looking fantastic as a mother. Drinky was up to his usual hijinks and is such a loving father. I was impressed.

The rest of my stay was wonderful, nice and relaxing until Tuesday – the day I was supposed to leave.
I met up at 11:00am with Wino and Odd Duck for a quick cup of coffee before hitting the road. The sky was dark and imposing and due to my bad eyesight, I was having misgivings about driving in bad weather.
“So you’re not gonna stay for tonight’s cookout?” Wino said.
“Of course I am. What can I bring?”
The decision couldn't have been easier and it was no big deal to carry my little red suitcase back up the stairs at daddy’s house.
Wino picked me up and we got supplies at the Giant Eagle. We picked up Capitall from work and headed towards their homestead.
While unpacking the cookout supplies, a rumble of thunder shook the windows. The sky let loose as Odd Duck pulled up. He jumped out of his car and the short walkway was just long enough to leave him soaked. Wines were opened and we all pitched in fixing dinner, hanging out in the kitchen and wandering about the porches (they have TWO porches, lucky ass bastards).
After an hour or so, the four of us sat on the front porch enjoying our food (beef, corn on the cob, cucumber tomato salad, and more wine). We were just finishing the meal when Wino said, “Odd Duck, is your car running?”
Odd Duck and Capitall both looked at Wino like he was an idiot and said, “No, it can’t be running!” Then we all looked at Odd Duck’s car. Capitall then pointed out there was exhaust coming out of the back… but, no…YES! We were in hysterics, falling off the porch hysterics.
Odd Duck had indeed left his car running for well over an hour and from there the tone was set for the rest of the evening.
We took our plates to the kitchen, something was dropped, more laughter and mayhem. It was too much and I said, “We need a calm person here.” And dropped my ass into a yoga Chair position while breathing deeply.
Odd Duck was interested and asked, “You really are serious about this yoga thing; it’s not just in your blog?”
Capitall and I made ourselves into Trees and then did forward bends.
I asked Odd Duck if he’d like me to teach him some things when he was sober. It was just the prompt he did not need.
“Oh I know lots of yoga! Watch this… [lunges forward and wraps his arm around his head]… HUP HUP HUP!... [claps hands and bends over]… HUP HUP HUP!...”
Capitall is crying and Wino is having a heart attack.
Deciding to join Odd Duck, I go into Downward Dog with my ass in the air.
Odd Duck shouts, “There ya’ go! HUP HUP HUP!”
Then I felt something brush the side of my arm and look to see Odd Duck’s foot –upside down- on the floor beside me. He had gotten on his back and thrown his feet over his head.
“HMP HMP HMPH!”
He sprang up and started copying my moves. We did Cat into Dog Tilt, then Down Dogged with our asses up. We Planked, we Triangled and then I started to do some difficult things. Between laughs, Wino exclaims, “Oh this is gonna be cool!”
Just as I started to go into Crow (see pic at top of post), my cell phone rang. I sprinted to catch it, because I’d not heard The Mister’s voice all day.
Upon my return, I heard a thump. Odd Duck had apparently seen enough to give Crow a shot, but kept falling forward on his head. [SMACK] “HUP HUP HUP!”
He finally gave up, took a breath and sat down.
It was the best cook out ever.