How do you mend a broken heart?

I haven't written about it, barely speak of it, and occasionally a tear or two will slip through the cracks at just the thought. The last presidential election still has me shaking my head in wonder, hurt and confusion.
It may not have been cool, but I grew up a patriot; hell, I still am a patriot for the America I think we should be.
You would think after two years, I could forgive America for letting me down. Still, I feel like I don't know her anymore. My hope that she and her people will find the right path -like a twelve step program of some sort- holds true. But can I ever forgive her?
It's as if I broke it off with a lover I'd found cheating, and then, years later, ran into on the street; homeless, haggard, a shell of what I once loved.
I volunteered in Ohio for the Kerry/Edwards campaign; moved there away from my sweetly supportive husband and into my childhood bedroom at my father's house. Same wallpaper, different person.
Last night, The Mister pulled a stack of letters out of his nightstand. Letters I'd written him while away. He gave me permission to share parts if it would help. So much has changed, and I am ready in hopes it will release me from the bitterness I've clung to.

Thursday, October 14, 2004 -4am
My darling The Mister,
Well, here I am -finally- with a little time on my hands because I can't sleep. It makes sense to use this time wisely and write to the one I love. Damn, do I miss you!! ...
It hadn't occurred to me how tough it was going to be coming to Ohio -Southeastern Ohio specifically-. Our Regional Coordinator was telling us they joke in the Ohio Dems HQ in Columbus that if we can win Washington County for Kerry then they can all stop working. We've had so many people come in to our office asking for "another sign" because theirs was stolen. One woman said her husband caught two guys in their front yard slashing their sign. The newspapers are ever so Republican that I have a hard time reading them. They print one letter with a Dem slant to every 2-3 Republican. Sometimes people are so hostile I'm almost afraid to wear my Kerry/Edwards button out in town. But I tell myself, "Those meanies are all talk and nobody would ever do anything to my face."
I guess the really frustrating thing is even the Kerry supporters are often so negative about winning. Marietta, overall, is quite depressed over the state of the economy & jobs and the recent flood has really been devastating. You are lucky to have seen Marietta a few years ago when the town was doing well. This area is just not the same. I do hope and pray that we can get Kerry into office and that with God's help, he can turn this country around.
It's so easy to be in DC where we're surrounded by open-minded, tolerant people. When I've had to make calls to registered Independents, I'm often struck by some of the responses. One man began yelling that he --gosh, he was yelling about everything from "take away my gun...killing babies...won't be protected from terror..." I thought, "Holy cow, this guy IS terror." I've gotten quite a few responses like that -and those are the Independents!
Every once in awhile you get a gem, though. I've had a couple of people tell me, "I'm still undecided and this is why..." One woman said she just couldn't see herself voting for somebody who believed in killing babies which led me to read her Kerry's wonderful response in the 2nd debate. The woman listened and sounded almost relieved and happy. Morals mean so much here.
Which leads me to the tv ads. Every commercial break on every station has AT LEAST two political ads. Some are so absurd they don't even make sense! It's no wonder people here are confused about the candidates (and hell, I'm speaking on both sides).
...Keep in mind, I have only seen the tv in the mornings when I check for the weather. --It's funny, my dad doesn't believe me when I tell him I haven't seen any of these political ads in DC...
So, I guess I just wanted to fill you in a little on what it is I'm doing here. I'm just trying to keep my chin up for now. Between being away from home and missing you, and the frustration of an uphill battle, I think I'm doing okay. Even if I can't sleep, it's almost 5am and I have to get up soon. I know that I am loved. You are amazing, The Mister. Thank you for supporting me.
Always,
Super