Monday, December 18, 2006

Coming clean... It's "Stop the Lies" Monday!

As you have probably noticed my blogging has been sporadic at best. I've alluded to things not being so great on the western front. And finally the time has come for me to spill it all. Beans everywhere!

The Mister and I are separating. I hadn't told any friends because The Mister had not come to terms with telling his mother. My family has known for almost a month now, but understandably, The Mister's family is not as easy to talk to. However, I must give props to all of them for rising up and supporting us as shocked as they may have been. My dad went as far as to go on a tirade about how much he loves The Mister and even if I have a problem with it, he still wants to be his friend.

Oh, Daddy! It seems to be a bit difficult for my family to understand that The Mister and I do not fight, argue and have no animosity towards one another. My parents divorced when I was about one-year-old; it was bitter and nasty. The Mister and I are the best of friends and in many ways I can not figure out if this is the smartest or stupidest thing we have ever done. We are still living together, but apart. We are helping each other however we can and still hanging out as friends do. Honestly, our therapist called us "a breath of fresh air". Still, it is very sad. And for me, I feel very embarrassed. What if this is just dumb? What if The Mister is the best thing that will ever happen to me? What if we are both being selfish?

"What if?" is my nemesis.

We still love and adore each other, but it seems we may be better friends than anything else. Working this out is our goal, of course. Some time apart may lend the perspective needed to really take a look.

The Mister has a big snowboarding trip in Canada planned and I will be going to Europe to check out a couple of schools. (Frankly, I must note: The Mister has never gone snowboarding before. He is going to Whistler, BC and I am convinced he is going to die. This is the place the 2010 Winter Olympics are to be held. Truth be told, I think he is a little convinced his death is imminent, as well. He's working out a lot... maybe that will help...?)

Wish us luck and keep us in your thoughts. I will try to blog more, now that I don't feel like I'm hiding a big ol' secret.

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