Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!

This is what I wished had happened:

After having lunch at a lovely restaurant and thinking, "Well, today was okay. I'm okay. I kick ass and that wasn't too bad.", I walked to Dupont Circle to hop on a bus going home. I waited, waited and waited some more and decided perhaps my cards pointed to a cab.

My little arm shot up and waved away. The first cabby stopped only to tell me my fare was not worth his time. Apparently the next three agreed with his logic and all drove off with some semblance of "No, no, I can't go there."

The fourth denial led me to yell, "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT KIND OF DICK DOES IT TAKE TO GET A FUCKING CAB IN DUPONT CIRCLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DAY?"

As I turned around to re-man my post at the corner, I looked up to see a gay couple eyes wide and mouths agape, obviously mortified at my outburst. Realizing what I'd just done, I got a little embarrassed; explaining "I'm sorry! I got divorced this morning."

The taller of the two sized me up and said, "Oh honey! We're gonna get you a cab!" as he started flailing his arms at any and all cars that drove past.

I gotta tell ya... if you ever need a cab in Dupont Circle the only way to hail one is with two queens on a mission of No Man Left Behind. I've never gotten home so quickly.

Instead, I was truly passed up by four cabbies and definitely yelled the whole "jfc blah blah dick in dupont" and then waited for-fucking-ever only to be charged a double fare. Karma anyone? Regardless, maybe I'll stick something like that in my next book. I really think we all need a fairy-god-mother and if you're ever going to find one, don't you think your chances are better in Dupont Circle?