Super to the Rescue.

Awhile ago I wrote a post titled: Mouth Noise Homicide. A response from DoubleOO got my full attention as he asked -somewhat desperately- for advice.

DoubleOO said...

It's been a while since I've read the superpages. A few comments:
Finally: I CAN NOT STAND PEOPLE CHEWING WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me fill with fire and rage. It is not helping the fact that the person I am currently seeing does this seemingly all the time. I think it wasn't until a few meals together into the whole thing that I noticed it, and now (like Brunch Bird), I can not focus on anything else when dining. I think "chewing with the mouth half-open is OK, right?" or "maybe I was just hearing things" and then crunchslopchewslurp.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
So after you posted that, besides the other two responses, do you have any suggestions for how to deal with this, when I have kept a "closed-mouth" about this with this person for waaaaay too long?????

DoubleOO, I feel your pain and as a fellow sufferer of all that is mouth noise, this is the best I can offer: Do not set the table with knives; forks and spoons are all that is necessary. Otherwise, homicide is surely in the future of your relationship with this person.
Actually, I do have some real advice.
1. If this person is mannerly in most other situations, then s/he would possibly like to know of the offending behaviour. In order to prevent public embarrassment, it would need to be handled delicately and certainly when it was just the two of you. It really is a matter of how comfortable you are with this person and I have just the test!
If you can float a biscuit, ie toot, in front of this person, then by all means, you should not hold back with this bit of information, "I'm not sure how to say this, but I have this strange aversion. I'm sorry to ask, but could you possibly chew with your mouth closed?" (You may not need to, but personally, I qualify just about everything and by qualify I mean I mitigate what I say.)
2. My second piece of advice is to always have dinner music. My mother had the rule of no noise at the dinner table. By "noise" she meant radio or television and as soon as I was out of her house, every meal had accompaniment. This has become my source of sanity.

Good luck, DoubleOO. May the force be with you.