Testing one, two, three... Have I lost my mind?

I'm starting to think my email isn't working.
Why else would nobody respond to my emails containing direct questions and queries?
Half of my readers -you know, all four of you who read this because you are my friends- are thinking, "Oh my goodness, she's writing about me!"
The joke is on you because I've written so many emails this week and gotten no fucking responses that I truly think my email is not working properly.
For instance, two days ago I was chatting with The Mister and told him I'd just sent an email to him. Twenty minutes later, the email still had not reached him... lost, floating around our heads in Email-Land, scared, frightened and simply wanting to be clicked upon.
So here I am wondering, "Is this thing on? Pft, pft pft! Check one, two! Is this thing on?" Or maybe, everybody got together and y'all are just fucking with me. Dude, I've really gone over the edge this time.

ps. My boobs are huge today so I took the time to look up the phases of the moon. Car crashes and big boobs are to be expected during full moons, right? Honestly, that's about the only way my boobs will ever seem big, and if the pull of the moon can make the tide rise, I suppose my ta-tas might be influenced as well.
Just type in "moon schedule" into google, click on a few links and see what you find. After perusing some of those sites, I take it back; I'm so not crazy: it's simply the influence of my big boobs.